Archive for the ‘Babble’ Category

My Homework Part 1

Wednesday, February 14th, 2018

I was asked to define success.  I don't honestly know where to begin.  i used to think it was money…  I thought it was career…  I thought it was a lot of things.  I am laying in my bed, in my underpants, on my laptop… Just trying to put it together…  At what point will I be successful?  That is a total moving target.  So lets start with what I DO know.

  1. I know that if I want to feel successful, I will no longer be trapped by a job.
  2. I will no longer be trapped by a clock.
  3. I do not want to have my life restricted by pain.
  4. I want to not have any hinderance to worship of God
  5. I want to leave behind a thriving legacy
  6. I don't want to be afraid to take risks
  7. I want at least 200 Acres of my own so I can do long distance shooting and hunting.
  8. I want my wife to be able to relax.
  9. I don't want to be the tool that makes some else rich.  I want my efforts to go directly into the Wagner family coffers. 
  10. I want to be a an insane giver.

I asked my wife "What does it mean to be successful?"  Her response: "To not have to worry."  I then asked he this: "Being married to me for almost 20 years, how do you think I define success?"  Her reply: "To be respected.  You have always needed external validation."

I can't deny that what she says isn't valid… but I feel it's only part of it.




It’s Only Tuesday?

Tuesday, February 13th, 2018

So, today was mostly a good day.  I have been informed that I get to go on a business trip here soon.  I am looking forward to it.  I don't think I have ever traveled for my current job.  I have been there almost 6 years.  I have been nose to the grind stone, non-stop since I started too, so having an opportunity to represent my company and my team is a huge feather in my cap.  Well, at least personally.  Not sure how the company feels about it as a whole.  I printed out my Gallup personality test reports for my personal development/Professional development coach.  Ok, well, I sent her the digital copies and I printed them out for myself; I'm a paper lover. 

I left work early today, as my wife asked me to pick up my daughter this morning.  I actually got to see the sun.  Didn't know what to make of it.  I swear it has been ages since I've seen it.  I have to say it cheered me up… right up until the point where I got to get my groove on with rush-hour traffic.  I swear these fools in Omaha totally forget how to drive between the hours of 4PM and 6PM Monday through Friday.  The concept of merging is totally lost on these people and they refuse to let other people in. 

Rude, rude, rude.

I have to really push my desire to road rage down.  I want to teach some of these jokers a lesson… but.. as I have a serious allergic reaction to incarceration.  So, that’s one big fat not gunna happen.


Getting to be more like what I think it is…

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

So I'm zipping through Facepage again and I run across this article posted on a Canada Free Press… and this little blurb about Ferguson catches my attention…

"The ABC News report says: 'The FBI assesses those infiltrating and exploiting otherwise legitimate public demonstrations with the intent to incite and engage in violence could be armed with bladed weapons or firearms, equipped with tactical gear/gas masks, or bulletproof vests to mitigate law enforcement measures.”

The FBI also warns that electrical facilities, water treatment plants, and computer networks could be attacked by groups such as “Anonymous.”

So it looks like some of the agitators could be “militarized” themselves, and may in fact be part of an international plot.'

Wait… what?



Conservatism – The Sleeping Giant Part 1

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

I typically don’t link to my blog from social media sources, but I feel pretty strongly about some things that twitter and facebook really don’t do a good job at letting me communicate my feelings well.  That being said: on to what’s on my mind.


For some time now, I have been watching things change in this country.  When I was growing up, you had the “common sense” liberals, the “common sense” conservatives and the ground in the middle all battling over what was and was not decent.   It was a little cleavage or leg here… maybe a see through top there… and God forbid someone actually cusses on television…  The whole world was in an uproar.  Somehow, from about 88-93.. yeah… within 5 years, that became normal and acceptable.  The homosexual community was relegated to San Francisco, New York, and other key pockets… They were not the norm, they were the novelty..  It was thought to be kind of intertaining to have a “gay friend” or a “gay relative”.  It wasn’t bad… you could say, “Not my thing, but whatever.”  And you were ok.  It seemed that they knew that what they were doing was wrong, but they didn’t care.  They felt like that’s just how they were and accept or don’t, they were who they chose to be. 

I wasn’t forced into sensitivity training for not agreeing with them, I wasn’t prosecuted for not paying attention to them.  I let them live, they let me live… no big deal.  It was toward the end of the Cold War and looking back, it seemed the country had bigger fish to fry.  We had to keep on our toes because the Russians seemed to have their hands in everything in direct opposition to what we did.  Our leadership was concerned with our place in the world and the protection of our people, our interests, and our borders. 

Then the wall came down and that started to change things in the world.  We watched on live TV as the protests Tiananmen Square took a serious turn.  We watched as Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and our forces mobilized to protect our allies.  We learned a new term: “Shock and Awe” and as a collective, hung on every word a man named “Storm’n” Norman Schwarzkopf we could get.  We watched as we stomped across the desert and took Iraq within days.  Our military was unleashed to do what our military was built to do.   Then for some reason, we stopped just short of our goal.  We had an opportunity to finish the job right then and there and we hesitated.  For some of us, this left a hole in our collective psyche; That things were left unfinished.  We left this thorn to be dig into our sides and it did just that for years.

Soon after the first Iraqi war ended we were treated to a new Liberal.  This new liberal pandered to the disenfranchised and the ignorant youth of this country.  He was younger,, understood how the media worked and could even play the saxophone.  He was well versed, well-spoken and had a charismatic charm that could get any intern to drop their pants.  New technology was developing faster than we could adapt, there was more money than ever to go around and we bought stock in fake companies, and rode that dot-com bubble all the way to Y2K.  This new demographic of liberal… the pro-gay, politically correct, “you have to be tolerant” chatter hounds  had established a beach-head.  They started to become organized.  They had this newfangled internet thing that the current VP created (sarcasm) and could talk and chatter behind the scenes… they could pool their creative resources and gather their forces.  By targeting the youth back in the 90’s, the liberal agenda captured the demographic that is most technically savvy.  Mom and dad (at the time) knew how to use a computer… they plugged it in, hit a few keys and could make the VCR tell proper time… but for the most part, a computer to them was that thing their manager had to put their time in on or it was that stuff in the movies.  I remember the first time that my mother heard I was using this thing called the internet… and was talking to people in Sweden…  You would swear she was Dorothy seeing Oz for the first time. The concept boggled her mind.  I, being the kind of geek that I was, dove in head first to this new technology.   I have been in the IT industry for at least 20 years, watching all this.  

So as I was saying, I watched liberalism sweep my (Gen X) generation.  We were taught that “The Old Boy’s” club was evil, and that “The Man” was keeping my generation down.  I watched as we were attacked by peace loving Muslims, again and again, and our response being lobbing a few cruise missiles or drop a “smart” bomb or two.  We didn’t really show force other than killing a poor janitor or two in the middle of the night.  We were too busy rolling in the money we had by shifting our construction, manufacturing, and industry to other countries.   We had shifted most of that to China and Korea because labor was cheap.  We didn’t care.  We managed everything remotely and rolled in the money as a country.  Just as planned, my generation became the generation of excess.  We have too much time to play games, eat food, and philosophize.  We became a generation of whiners and consumers.  We no longer were a generation that produced anything.  Yeah we wrote the software that made the world go round.  We pumped up the internet.  We developed the web pages and the code that made people laugh and kept the nation distracted, but we sold our future to the Chinese because it was cheaper and easier than doing it ourselves.

We, as a country then had to face scandal.  We had to stare into the face of this media giant, who was beloved by my generation (Yes I was a liberal at the time too) and ask the question: “Did you in any way have sexual relations with that woman?”  We were floored by the scandal.  The media (who I felt still had some integrity left) latched onto this story and as the pieces fell on blue dresses, audio tapes and cigars… we got to understand a new process in our media… Infotainment.  The news, which was our life line to the truth, began to speculate.  They inserted “what ifs” as possible facts… and retooled the truth as they saw fit.  They re-branded the prosecutor in the case from a truth and justice seeker to the villain.  He, at least to the Gen-X-r’s that I was around, the bad guy… the Debbie downer…. The party killer.  He was after our beloved media giant.

Whoa…. Ok, I am going to call this part 1… and will write more later… maybe…  Honestly I have to go to the bathroom and can’t think straight.  More later. 

The brand of “The Black Sage”

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

So, I have been talking to the wife about “changing the world”, I have asked in prayer about what I am supposed to be doing… I have again, just now asked the Lord what he wants me to do… I have had a feeling that something was coming.

Last week, I had a complete stranger end up with my business card. At first, when she called, I thought she was a recruiter.. Trying to get a summary of my skills for a job… As it turns out she was just a person in need of help.  I believe that God has made a divine appointment here.

So I help her by doing some data collection, and send some emails trying to assess her need, and state of her now defunct web-site.  It’s gone, all the info that she had in it is gone… It never went live because she said that it wasn’t in God’s timing.  So I give her all the information that I have and what I know…  The site’s dead, no backups were made..  Gone.

Fast forward to yesterday… My new friend calls me up to talk about options… so I offer to host the site, set up a blog for her to use and support her the best I can.  I am NO web developer.  I am NO coder.  I am just a guy with a hosting plan, server knowledge, and a base understanding of WordPress.  I lay it all out on the table for her… and she wants to go with me.  Heck, I’m free and I want her to be successful… I want this site to be successful… I am excited about this…

This could be how I help _directly_ change the world.. this could be how I _directly_ help others… this could be how I _directly_ spread the love of Christ to those who need it most.

So it got me back to thinking about “The Black Sage” brand.  Because I’m starting to realize that if you facebook, twitter, blog, email, communicate to the world as a name, and for me that is “The Black Sage” then you have a brand.  A bona fide  brand that you have to protect in some way.  You have to be consistent.  You have to project that to each media stream…

So then it comes down to this question:  Do I do this for His glory or mine?

That being said… I choose for His glory.  I choose to have an on-line presence that has scripture at it’s core.  I chose to have an on-line presence with Christ at the helm.

I make this declaration that Jesus is the Lord of my life.  I declare that my media streaming output will do it’s best to align with scripture.  If I fail at that, I declare to try and make it right if I am called on it.

So today I launch “The Black Sage” brand.  Today I do it for His glory, not mine.



Holy Cross-gender Ex-Roomates Batman!

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Oh man… before I forget… I had the most oddball dream last night….

This is a dream, all accounts are from that dream and are NOT… repeat NOT factual.

I dreamed that my old college room-mate came looking for me…


He was now a she and went by the name “Chip” … Which is taken from letters in his name. “She” had it done after being convicted of molesting a child… So I spent the time keeping “Chip” away from my kids… trying not to tell Him/Her that I knew about the conviction.. Trying to be forgiving, while protecting my kids.  Then someone made jello… and it came to life and ate Chip… Then I tried to get this jello to a safe place, and it ended up getting destroyed by hiding in a running food processor.

Yeah… I remember the sad look in “Chip’s” eyes… The regret… He/She apologized profusely for the mistakes that he/she made in life and in our friendship…  I felt really bad when the jello ate him/her.

Actually (trying to think really hard and remember what all took place in said messed up dream,) I think that the jello ate Chip’s entire traveling party… Some old black dude (that I don’t know who he was, but was very wise.) his wife… and then Chip’s boyfriend.  After the jello died, I felt bad for it too.

I have some wacky dreams…. wacky… I hope this one isn’t reoccurring…


~TAS (apparently nuts)

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Apparently, I have an audience.

Well hello there!

Well hello there!

Not that I was trying to have an audience… but hey… I guess since it’s posted on the interwebs, it’s going to be viewed by SOMEONE… I should have known better.  With the throngs of groupies that I have already… someone was bound to read the blog I really haven’t posted to in almost a year.

Why have I moved here you asked?

It’s simple.  If I go off on a rant on FacePage, at least 400+ people (or whatever my friend count it) will see it.  Some of them are co-workers, some of them are former co-workers, a lot of them are people I went to high school with that just clicked on my name because they remembered it.  Heck, I even have friends like that.  The point is… Few people on FacePage are invested in me.  I use this as my personal journal of things I want to go back and look at.  I guess I could use my livejournal account.. That goes back to… 2002 I think?  That’s very much BC…. That’s fun just trying to remember how that went…  I went back and looked at some of those posts… I swear I was insane when I posted them…. Looking at that time in my life, I had to have been.  No blog wars, no friend drama, no ex-wife drama, no real kid drama, no financial drama, no work drama…

Holy Crap… God, what have you done?  I just realized that MY drama has dropped to next to nothing.  The people I choose to surround myself with… don’t come with drama…  They come with wine and cheese, hugs, stability, honesty, and a desire to lift up those around them.  That’s not commentary against anyone… that is commentary FOR some friends.

4 of the 5... We miss you Cheesecake.

4 of the 5… We miss you Cheesecake.

Thank you God.



Wow… You speak fluent Spanglish?

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

I had no idea how to title this one.  So many things to talk about.  Its a bit hard to narrow it down to something simple.

Lets start with my overnight… So after going to bed at 1 AM, I woke up some time in the middle of the night feeling like I was suffocating… Which usually means that the holes in my mask are covered… (I.e. The exhaust holes in my Bi-pap mask) They weren’t I just felt that I couldn’t catch my breath… then I realized that my Bi-Pap wasn’t acting right.  I fiddled with it for a little bit and realized that it was jacked.  It was barely pushing air and the inhale and the exhale were the same weak pressure.  Well crap… So I reached under my bed and grabbed what I call the “Travel” bipap and hooked it up.  I thought my head was going to pop… the pressure just seemed so high… but in actuality it was where it was supposed to be.  Wow… So today, though I am tired, I feel like my brain actually works.  I can form a clear thought .. which would explain why I have been so run down for the past month.  I haven’t been sleeping well AT ALL and have wondered several things…  So yeah…

Then today I get a text from a friend about something I said… I felt bad.. I wasn’t trying to start anything… aaaaaaaaaand that’s almost all I have on the subject… other than I hope that my Bi-Pap being messed up explains my dreams over the past month….   I really hope it does.  There’s more that I worry about because of it… but I will have to discuss with a friend of mine.

Also, since I changed my theme….. as the last one broke when WP upgraded… I lost all my counters… so I had to install a new one.  That’s done…

Currently running a post-lunch headache…. and Ibuprofen has been had.

So, to end on a high note… Last night, I got home from work, I grabbed my Beansie and took her out to dinner.  1 mini-cheese pizza and a doughnut… She’s high maintenance… let me tell ya!  🙂  I love my Beans… I got her home and Granny whisked her away for a sleep over… But not after Mommy and Daddy got one more round of happy birthday in…



It started as a post named: “Juuuust kinda pissed off.”

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

Today is starting to be a very cranky day.

*record scratch*

In the name of Jesus, I take control of this day and redirect it to be positive.  I release control of my life to Christ Jesus, I release my anger and lay it at God’s feet, and I pray the the Holy Spirit fill me.  I make this announcement to the enemy.  You do not own me.  My ransom was paid.

My heart, soul, body, and spirit were bought and paid for by Christ Jesus.


Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

I am sitting… No, laying in bed. I should be asleep. I’m not. I am,listening to some old 80’s music. Depeche mode… I think that’s what it is… Just laying here sad… I forgot how depressing some of it was… Errrr is.

I’m going to pray for a bit then sleep.

Hoping tomorrow isn’t so crazy.