Archive for the ‘The Holy Spirit’ Category

Homework Part 3?

Saturday, February 17th, 2018

So I have been asked to write my life mission…. And well… in BlackSage-eze… .the obituarty I want to have read over me at my funeral.

I am going to write this as if it's being said of my coffin…

Here lies Zack Wagner… he was a faithful husband, fathful father, faithful friend.  He is in the arms of Jesus now waiting for us to come and join him.  Knowing Zack, he has set the table and will have been cooking like crazy getting ready for us.  His wife passed recently as well, and I know they are in heaven together as we all knew their faith was strong.  He is survived by his 5 children, 40 grand children.  His children have taken over the legacy he has left behind.  BlackSage Arms LLC has been a solid provider for him and his children.  He will be burried next to his wife on their 180 acre ranch in the Hill Country of Texas.  The foundation that he and his wife started has put 120 kids through various Christian schools around the nation, focusing not only on tuition, but uniforms and making sure they have hot meals.  he was heavilt involved with their church and they have left a sizable donation.  In his will he has asked that he not be acknowledged by the church.  He will be missed.  We all knew, loved and respected him.

A whole lot of “salt”.

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

So, I have and am inviting the Holy Spirit into all things.  (Still trying to listen and follow).  I have to say things are changing. My own spirit is lifted.  I wont say I had fallen away, but I had slid a bit.  I’ve dug in and am reaching for God in everything again.  I always seem to screw things up when “I” try to manhandle things into place.  Asking God to do it for me makes it all go smoother.  I feel that I am getting back on track with work.  It’s nice.  Facebook doesn’t seem all that critical, even Wow’ing doesn’t seem all that important.  I still do it, but it’s a if I have time thing.  Yes, we’re talking over the past few days… and it takes at least 6 weeks to make a habit, but I feel good now.  So in Christ, I live for today.  Lord, I lay my day at your feet.  I submit my worries to you… I submit my fears to you, and I submit my stress to you.  I love you Lord.

 

~TAS

Bump Bump..

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

I’ve been bumped a lot lately. It makes me really take not of what my friend Robert said this past Friday about inviting the Holy Spirit into the process of decision making.  So far, I have contemplated changing careers, changing my eating habits, changing my sleep patterns.  I’ve been bumped on my work ethic, my desires, my needs, my entertainment, how much I FaceBook… a whole bunch of stuff.  A real huge bump came today when someone I used to work with asked me for help… and I have been avoiding it because I felt I need to tell him some things that are hard to hear.  Well… I said them.  It may end the friendship.  It may grow the friendship.  Only the Lord knows how this will turn out.  I lay it at God’s feet.  I said what was in my heart as gently as I could.  I sent my wife a copy of what I sent him… and then she bumped me on what I said.

If I am to preach it, I should do a better job of living it.  So… yeah…

Lord, I lay my life at your feet.  I am nothing without you lifting me up.  I humble myself to your will and I ask that you send the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, my tongue, and live through me.  I ask Lord, to be your hands and feet and do you will.

In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray.

 

~The Ascended Dragon

Staring Blankly at Pandora

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

So I’m at work.  I was on a call and everyone broke for lunch.  I had already eaten at my desk (on mute) and flipped on Pandora.  I wasn’t in the mood for experimental guitar, so I flipped over to my ZZ Top station.  Song that came up?  “Pearl Necklace”.  One of my “favorite” songs.  I’m singing along, and I started feeling guilty.  I mean the song is about sex and all, most songs on the radio (non Christian) are.  I just sat feeling my heart sink bothered me… so I skipped ahead… next song? It was “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum.

This is showing that God is working in me… changing what drives me, what motivates me, and how I am working to be more than I ever was.  I’m changing, not because a pastor or person is telling me I can’t or shouldn’t, but because I want to.  It’s cool.  I thank you Lord for working in my life and in my music.

~The Ascended Dragon

(I just flipped over to my “FireFlight” station.  The first song that started playing?  “New Perspective”.  God’s talking to me pretty clearly.)

What constitutes an attack?

Monday, September 20th, 2010

I rarely dream at a level I can really remember. Don’t get me wrong, I dream… I just don’t carry much away other than fleeting bits and pieces. The past two nights though, I have been having very vivid dreams. Saturday night into Sunday, I had a dream where there was a group of women, dressed in settler bonnets and long dresses (My feeling is that they were part of that church in Kansas that protests gays at military funerals) were trying to get into my house. My wife and kids were in the house and I managed to keep them out. So they went into the middle of the circle that I lived on in my dream and launched a paper rocket into the air with their prayers in it. The rocket didn’t make it that high and fell to the ground. They then went to the house next to mine. As they ascended the ramp to the front door, I threw open the window and began screaming “BLASPHEMER!!” again and again and they got into screaming match with me… then I woke up. I left me feeling un-nerved. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but the images came to me all day. By last night, I had put them out of my head as normal goofiness and went about my evening.

Last night an old friend of mine called with a prayer request. Were one of the only Christian friends that she had and she felt that her Aunt and cousins were getting attacked in a big way. What she described was pretty bad, so I handed the phone to my wife who talked to her. A few moments later, we went to the van (as we were out) and began praying for this person. Later that evening before bed, we prayed for her again… In this prayer, I was compelled to say some things 3 times about binding and casting out. When we finished, we went to sleep.

That is when I started dreaming. I was with some people who insisted that if they performed certain actions again and again, it would make a difference, but it looked that they were caught in a loop leaping from train car to giant crate, to the ground to another train… IT was almost comical, but then it morphed into another scene of a father and daughter trying to escape from SOMETHING by train… The y had tied themselves together with rope and the train pulled away fast and the father made it to the train. His daughter didn’t and the rope pulled her and she turned reaching for me and began screaming as she was dragged away… Though I did not see the blood and gore, I saw her ripped in half as she disappeared into the bright horizon. I think I ran after her but she was gone. I was then up on the train platform and met a young child who proceeded to tell me how she ripped the flesh from her chest and brought me back to her mother’s home to show me a notebook showing the gruesome ordeal, just before she showed me the notebook, her mother came through the front door and I tossed the notebook back up on the shelf where the child got it. I turned to face the mother and then woke up.

I went to the bathroom, and when I opened the door to my room, it dawned on me that this was not “of God” and that this was an attack by the enemy. The air felt heavy as I walked into the room and I immediately dropped to my knees next to the bed and began praying to Jesus, to bind whatever spirit this was and to cast it from my home. I then crawled up on the bed, grabbed my wife’s hand (she was dead to the world) and then put my hand on her head and began praying aloud. Per my presbytery, I wasn’t going to let that come back. “Not on my watch.” After that, the room lightened… the Spirit was with me and all was good. I laid in bed contemplating what happened at 3:40AM in the morning and why it happened. As I stared up at the ceiling, I heard a voice say “Go to bed son.” At which point, I said yes sir and went to sleep.

This morning I feel beat up. I plan on praying on this a bunch. It was heavy.

I need some coffee and I’m off to go find it.

Blessings to you,
~The Ascended Dragon

What God is doing. Crazy ain’t it?

Saturday, September 4th, 2010

My wife and I spent a quiet evening away from home.  Ran into an old co-worker of mine and spent a good half hour standing around talking to them.  We then went for a drive to South Omaha then to Lewisville… Just to drive.  Didn’t stop except to use the bathroom.   We then came home and went to bed.  I just laid there for a bit, and couldn’t sleep… I had a tickle in the back of my head…. So I grabbed my phone, put on Pandora and started playing Galaxy Conquest.  So as I am taking planets from Red, Yellow, Blue and Pink, blasting through levels my mind wanders during a FireFlight song…

It dawns on me that God, in His infinite wisdom has been healing the holes in my heart since I became saved.  Ex-Girlfriends, Ex-Wife, Relationships, Sins of my past, Old Friendships that had left me hurt and scarred.  To be honest, they have been big gaping holes in my heart.  Things that were decades old… pains I have had most of my life are being washed away by the blood of Jesus and the Grace of God.  He has sent the Holy Spirit to lift me up.

Don’t get me wrong, I have good days and bad days.  Sometimes I feel more connected than others.  The amazing conversations and fellowship I have with Rev, Chuey, my wife, my kids, Chicken man, and Tank Girl just leave me glowing.  I know that I am right where I need to be and all will come in God’s time.  Tonight… when I realized all this… the Holy Spirit came to me and I felt the presence of my Lord and Creator.  God was in the room and I could have floated out.  I was so high on Christ… It… It was amazing.  So I sat there… knowing I was supposed to write this down… and not wanting to wake my wife up.

The feelings and experiences I wanted to have all my life, I am finally having through my walk with Christ.  Knowing that I am going to be part of something bigger than me… knowing that I was supposed to be doing something else with my life… That is happening.  God is taking my life and making it something more than I could have hoped for.  I feel the Power of God behind me.  I hear the roar in my ears… I can feel God’s breath on me.. I feel the Holy Spirit.

When God heals your heart after a lifetime of hurt, anger, pain, guilt and suffering… There is no doubt:  It is the power of the Lord making it such.

I am still a flawed and broken person, but God is making my heart whole and pumping the living water in my soul.

Thank you God,

~The Ascended Dragon

(FYI, it’s after 3AM when I posted this)

Kinda down today…

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Obi said something today that kind of threw me for a loop. “The Black Sage is dead.” I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean.. The Black Sage persona could have died along with me… I… I don’t know how to feel about it. It’s like morning the loss of a friend I guess. The Black Sage persona has protected me, it has been my outlet, it has been my sa… God is jealous of things taking me away from him. Any substitute for him is bad. God protects me. God is my outlet. God is my safe place.

So I submit to you Lord: My shell of a persona. It is empty, it is dead. Will it be reborn or does it die? I pray to you Lord, I can’t make this choice by myself. It is going to require some rework…. I am going to have to change a ton of email addresses…. But I open myself to you Lord. I surrender The Black Sage persona to you.

Since Obi said that, I have been grinding my teeth. My mood has spiraled and now I am sitting here dumbfounded. I am trying to humble myself to be honest about my feelings regarding this. The thing is… What does God want me to do?

I have to say… The illustration that Mr. Pastor Guy gave this weekend were spot on. Left me thinking on things…. Big things. My old life following me in death… It was comfortable then with who I was… I didn’t realize that I was holding onto this so tightly.

It’s making me analyze myself deeply. I’m not comfortable with it. As I have said time and time again… I grow the most when I am out of my comfort Zone.

Dear God, please help me find the areas in my life that I need to let go of. Areas of life that are MY will… that drag me back toward death. Please show me the difference between your will and mine.

In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen…

~The Knight who formerly said “Ni!”