Archive for the ‘Tired’ Category

2018 is here and I’m tired.

Monday, February 12th, 2018

So,

 

It's 2018.  February 12th, 2018 to be exact.  I have arrived to work 10 minutes late.. My morning was spent trying to deny the fact that it was Monday and I yet again got lost in Facepage.  I jumped out of bed at 9:09AM, ran for the shower and out the door by 925AM.  Warmed up the truck and raced to work doing 80, to still arrive at 9:40AM.

Why am I rambling about my morning?

I came to the realization this weekend, that I am tired.  Deeply tired… like all I want to do is sit on the couch and vegitate, sit on the xbox and vegitate or sleep.  (granted all 3 things weith my wife around, because you know… I like her and all).  I'm not depressed.  I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and the bumper sticker is in the mail.  I know how that feels, how achy I get, how run down I get, how I can never seem to catch my breath… So I get and understand the feeling of depression.  This isn't it.  

After spending time with my Personal/Professional Development Coach, I was presented with some great ideas.  Some things that I can do to move my passions forward.  Later that day I had a great brain-ideasplosion about it.  Had some awesome ideas… had gumption… then I got near the couch… and that was that.  No church, no playing iwth the kids, no growth… just… sitting there passing the time.  Wasting what was a perfect opportunity to make things happen.  I even put off fixing the sink until my wife asked me to fix it.  Went to Home Depot, got the parts I needed, went to Walmart… ended up buying my wife a few gifts… and then.. went home.  Fixed the sink and then?  and then?  Plopped my big butt back on the couch and finished out the night there.  Went to bed and here I am.

See, I work a lot… at times, I feel like it's all I ever do.50+ hour weeks are normal… I have been working this way for at least 6 years, if not more.  I actually averaged 13 hours per week in overtime.  I have worked as many as 105 hours in a week and I cannot remember the last time I worked only 40.  I know it has happened, but I think it was when I took time off… No wait…  I always get called.  Interesting fact though… This was the first weekend in a few months where I was not called at least once.  So what did I do with all this free time?  Oh yeah, as I said before, I sat my big butt on the couch.

I want the tired to stop.  I am sitting at my desk… tired… wanting to take a nap… Anyone asks me how I am doing… I answer "tired".  My dad makes jokes about it.. but honestly, I just feel like I can't ever catch up on sleep.  Something has to change…